Training with Women in your academy

Dawn Lew, my wife :)

As we slip further and further away from the origins of the art, one thing stands. Jiu-jitsu techniques, when applied properly, allow a smaller person to defend him/herself against a larger, stronger opponent. Obviously, this takes time. Not just LEARNING the technique, but a lot of mat time, and tons of drilling and rolling.
Your typical academy has way more men than women, hence why my academy has a women’s only class. I feel as though it’s important for women to train with other women for a few reasons.

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1. If you are a female competitor, you’ll be going against another woman, which leads to my next point.
2. Men feel the need to go lighter against women, which I personally do not do, and I’ll explain this later. Therefor, rolling with another woman will bring the intensity you need for competition training.
3. I think most, but not all, women are more comfortable in an all-women setting, at least when they first start training.
4. When women are beyond the point of only training with women, they should still roll with women to encourage other women. I understand that some women have no problem rolling with men from the get-go. A good example is my academy. Many of the women participated in the women’s only class for 5-6 months before even attending another class. Some of them would have never continued had there not been a women’s class.
5. Physically, women are just smaller than men, on average. As a 155-165 lb male, I know how it feels rolling with larger men. It hurts, even when I’m doing well. So, I can only imagine how a woman must feel doing that on a regular basis, and still improving their jiu-jitsu.
   

Some of the gals of GAMA - Grapple Academy Martial Arts, in Perry Hall, MD

Most academies, however, do not have a women's only class. If not from the start, women in every academy will likely start training with men eventually. So, what do we need to be aware of. I recently shot a message out to about to a bunch of women, all from different academies, with the intention of getting a general consensus of do’s and donts. Like it or not, this is truth, and I think men should listen, if we want the women to flourish. Some gave me permissions to use their name, but I decided to keep their names private so that we can see this as a general understanding, instead of someone personally feeling targeted. The answers are so similar that we can safely say this is going on everywhere jiu-jitsu exists.

Common pet peeve:

• Muscling out of submissions or bad positions instead of using technique:
  

“When I'm rolling with a man and get close to a submission and he starts using as much strength as he can muster to get out. It's exhausting and annoying.” - Blue Belt

"I appreciate all of the guys who recognize that I am smaller and will try not to put all of their weight on me or use their strength. However, if I hit a sweet transition or get a good set up for a submission all bets are off. They no longer use that technique to get our and just go all out and will continue that level of intensity until the end of the round." - Purple Belt

“Biggest pet peeve from men rolling with me is the extremes... muscling out of submissions and bad positions or using "athleticism" to spaz out of positions and submissions.” - Blue Belt

• Relying on strength and size for the entire round:
  

“Don’t use your weight and strength to smash us- where’s the fun in that? Instead, work a technique or sequence without relying on muscle to get you through. It’s ok to be rough, but gauge it, especially with a new rolling partner.” - Blue Belt

“Being new to the sport there were some body types that I knew even at the same belt level I didn't stand a chance. Mainly because they had a good 80 lbs on me. Not that I felt I couldn't gain anything from the experience or would explicitly not roll with them but I wouldn't seek them out. I couldn't use anything I learned and I would be stuck in half guard for five minutes dying” - White Belt

“Just because women "feel strong" or can maintain a dominant or neutral position doesn’t mean our bodies can handle the extra torque and push and pull, especially us older women.” -  Blue Belt

“ I also can’t stand when a large man gets top position and just sits there and doesn't submit me or just lays all their weight on my face.” - Blue Belt

• Listen up newer students: (I’d like to add that these same women say that they don’t mind rolling with white belts, it’s just a higher risk. This is not talking down on white belts, just a safety issue. Everyone was a white belt at some point)
  

“I avoid white belts because they tend to be much much more aggressive in their rolling, like they have to prove something.” - White Belt

“I keep a running mental list of men I won't roll with due to higher risk of injury. They tend to be newer, larger men.” - Blue Belt

“As the person becomes more experienced, I may begin rolling with them, or the size disparity may make them a bad match anyway.” - Blue Belt

“My experience has mostly been with men and I find that the upper belts blue to Brown are the best to work with because as a white belt, they will be sure to be smoother with their rolls and allow me to figure out different maneuvers.” - White Belt

“Honestly I have been lucky enough to train with people who typically keep me safe and don't freak when I catch them so this is a rare occurrence and usually it is newer white belts and larger men who can be most dangerous.” - Blue Belt

• This is not to say that women want to be treated differently:
  

“The upper belts don’t care that I am female...they treat me the same.” - White Belt

"With white belts and new blue belts, I know I will have the opportunity to work my game/whatever techniques I'm drilling. With experienced blue belts and up, I'm typically doing more defending, and that's ok." - Purple Belt

“Belt rank matters less than personality/spazziness. Above everything, I don't want to be seen as a woman on the mats - I just want to be seen as another teammate.” Blue Belt

• Who women are looking to roll with:
  

“Basically someone you can tell won't be a douche, won't overpower you just because they can and aren't judging you for a) being a chick and b) being a white/lower belt.” - White Belt

“Dudes who have a style I like. Like I have long limbs and am pretty flexible. I like moving around a lot (though with minimal effectiveness lol) and so when I see people who move in ways I think I could build up to or want to then I try to approach them. Also dudes who are supportive of their teammates” - White Belt

“ I enjoy rolling with light-feather through lightweight men (130-170lb) the best. They're the closest in size to me and have a tendency to rely more on technique than strength.” - Blue Belt

“if I feel like they will respect my level and strength difference then I will be more comfortable rolling with a guy.“ - White Belt

“We REALLY appreciate a good roll with a guy who challenges us, but also provides us with opportunities to work our own moves/paths” - Blue Belt

• Rolling with other women:
  

“The women I have rolled with go much harder and are more aggressive than the men but since they are usually my size, maybe lighter, they may not be as strong as I am but their technique is better (usually upper belts and more experienced white belts).” - White Belt


To end this blog, I just wanted to put in two more cents. This is just MY point of view. I love rolling with women. On average, most of them are smaller, lighter and a lower belt rank. ’This gives me an opportunity to work on my A-game, using 100% technique, and to develop my newer chains. Every round should be rolling with a purpose. If you are matched up with a female, no big deal. Work your moves! If your moves are HULK SMASH, then work your defenses, and technical escapes, sweeps, etc. I personally do not roll “lighter” when I roll with women. I bring the same exact intensity, the only difference is the move-set I chose to work - And I’m not singling out women. I have a different move-set for each person.  

• Basing things off of size - Big people, I work on controlling from top positions when I can get there. I do my best to stay active and avoid being smashed. Small people, I work on technical guard sweep counters, escapes and guard sweeps.
  
• Basing things off of belt level - Same belt or higher, I’m working my a-game, whether they are bigger or smaller. Lower belts, I’m developing my jiu-jitsu, my strategy, and my chains.
  

To sum it up - don’t be a jerk. Women bring a lot to the mats, often more than men. They rely almost on almost 100% technique when rolling with the average man. Don’t avoid them, unless they want to avoid you. Roll with women. Use technique. Roll hard, but no hulk smash!

-Greg

Greg Lew (Me) left, and my wife, Dawn Lew (Right) visiting LAW MMA in NY, with Matt Serra Black Belt, Dave Patton (Middle). Finding academies that welcome and encrouage women is important when traveling!